I can't look at this anymore without taking a red pen to it. I'm posting the version that a kind fan sent to me, but know that when this finally shows up in ebook form (in 2027? I've set a precedent) it will be less…cringey.
I woke up slowly, comfortable in a warm tangle of flesh and linens. I didn't fully awaken until I realized that I was wrapped around my large bedmate instead of the other way around. The sun was barely cresting the horizon, and purple shadows threw themselves across the room.
Someone knocked on the door, and Fen stirred in my arms. I snatched them away from him and he rolled onto his back.
"Who is up at this ungodly hour?" he groaned.
As if reading his mind, a voice came from the other side of the door. "Fenton, old boy, are you in there?" Almus Tobergus.
Fenton sighed, and looked over at me. "Pull the sheets down a little and moan like you're disappointed."
I raised my eyebrows. "Have you been drinking already?"
"Just do it. I don't want to deal with him this early," he grumbled, getting out of bed. He took his pants off and wrapped a robe around himself and held it like he was hiding an erection. I got the idea.
"But Mr. White, please," I whined loud enough for Tobergus to hear, smacked my palm against my bare stomach, then squealed. I might have been overdoing it.
"Hold still, boy," Fen said gruffly, but he looked amused. He jerked the door open when I had turned onto my stomach and pulled the sheet down to my hips. "What is it, Almus?" he asked, testy. "I'm a little busy right now."
I moaned for effect, and Tobergus peeked past Fen to see me squirming under the bedsheets. He looked impressed.
"My apologies, old boy," he said good-naturedly. "I can certainly wait until you've had your, shall we say, morning pleasures."
"Wonderful," Fen said flatly, and shut the door in his face. He climbed over me back into bed, and I squealed again in case Tobergus had his ear pressed to the door.
"Are you finished?" Fen asked dryly.
I batted my lashes at him. "If you wish, Mr. Donkey Dick," I responded.
"Enough sass from you," he retorted, and buried his head back in the pillow.
We both fell back asleep shortly. It didn't cross my mind to wonder why I was so at ease with a man who, not a week earlier, I had been so sure I hated. I didn't worry whether or not Fen would try to fuck me and whether I would respond or not. I didn't think about what Juniper would say. It wasn't that I didn't care, but for that morning those concerns took second place next to this strange camaraderie Fen and I had found. For that short while, I was at peace.
Sometime later Fen stirred, and I opened my eyes. My face was inches from his, and his breath whispered across my face. White curls floated in a halo around his head and trailed over his forehead. He was sleepy, masculine beauty personified. His eyes were half open, and for a minute he watched me watch him.
I felt funny again. Had we been lovers, we would have kissed. Fen looked as though he were debating it. Considering how I felt about him overall, or at least how I was supposed to feel, I should have moved out of lip range. But I stayed put.
"Ir layeb annasta moir," Fen rumbled sleepily. "And you need to brush your teeth."
It was the second time he'd said that to me, and the first time I had assumed it was Nitkan that I didn't understand. Now I realized it was a different language. "What does that mean?" I asked.
Fen flashed his teeth. "It means your breath smells bad," he answered.
I rolled my eyes. "You know what I meant. Is that Calterran?"
For a split second, deep sadness stole across his face, but disappeared so quickly I thought I had imagined it.
"It's my—it's a dead language," he said slowly. I gave him an expectant look. "It's a way to say good morning."
"What's the name of the language?" I asked.
Fen hesitated before responding, "Elian." He got up.
I stretched and yawned, the sheets sliding down to my hips. The hum perked up a little, which meant Fen was still watching. Elian, he had said. I knew that from somewhere, but my brain was fuzzy with recent sleep. I was pretty sure it was recent history, however.
"I need a shower," I commented. I felt sweaty and grimy, and I did indeed need to brush my teeth. The tingle at my neck intensified, and my gaze shot to Fen.
He was pulling clothes out of his drawers, so I couldn't see his face.
"What about me being unclean is attractive to you, pervert?" I asked.
Fen straightened and turned around, but said nothing. He just looked at me for a while, and I looked at him. His eyes narrowed and grew calculating, and the hum deepened. I was in trouble.
"Er, I should be getting out of here, you know. Got some work to do, or something," I stammered, scrambling off the bed. I made it halfway to the door when Fen grabbed my arm and threw me back onto the bed. He landed on top of me not a second later, but I bucked him off.
"Is there a problem?" he taunted, grabbing at me. I hit him in the face with a pillow. Fen fell backwards, but managed to get a hand on the pillow and wrested it away from me before I could swing again.
The pillow careened toward my head, but I ducked and tackled my aggressor around his midsection, knocking the wind out of him. I managed to Fen into a headlock and squeezed him around his middle with my legs.
"What," I puffed, "has gotten into you?" This was a new side to the mysterious Fenton White. We weren't playing, exactly; I was reminded of a documentary I saw about ferrets, and how when breeding season came around the male ferret would wrestle the female into an enclosed space and mount her. If the female wasn't agreeable she would fight him off and go find a better mate. I did not want to be a female ferret.
Fen decided to play dirty and grabbed my balls, which made me yelp and let him go. He twisted my arm behind my back and I retaliated by twisting his nipple. I shoved him off the bed with my feet, but he grabbed an ankle and pulled me down with him. I landed half on top of him and we continued grappling for dominance.
This was no playful, touch-me-here-and-I'll-touch-you-there entanglement. I used every trick I had picked up from sports and brawls with my siblings, but it didn't take me long to see that Fen was holding back. He'd hit a pressure point but then shift his grip so that I wouldn't pass out. It was as if he was trying to remember how not to kill his opponent.
On the other hand, that damnable buzz in my neck was spreading, and I wasn't breathing hard just because of the physical exertion. I noticed that I had stopped trying to wrestle away from Fen, but was trying to wrestle my way on top of him, and not in the sense that I would hold him down and try to spit on him like my brothers used to do to me. No, I was sliding over sweat-slicked skin, skimming my hands over straining muscle, tasting salt when I opened my mouth. My body was charged, Fen a willing conductor for that electricity.
Somehow I ended up on my stomach with my legs trapped underneath Fen's weight, my upper arms pinned to the floor, and Fen stretched fully on top of me. We were both taking heaving breaths, and I knew I'd have new bruises and a couple of sore muscles from grappling. Fen was rock hard; his cock rested in the cleft of my buttocks, and I tried not to think of how erotic that felt.
"What," Fen exhaled, "has gotten into you?"
I couldn't respond, because I wasn't sure myself. Arousal rose thick in my throat and choked me, and I closed my eyes and rested my cheek on the lush carpet. Thick, fine hair brushed over my cheek just before Fen's mouth fastened on that spot he had found days earlier, right under my earlobe.
"You're humming," he murmured in my ear.
Oh, gods in heaven I thought. I was so hard it was painful, and I wanted nothing more than to be touched. I wanted to be touched and groped and stroked all over, I wanted to come in Fen's hand, in his mouth. I wanted him to kiss me.
"I think," Fen said smugly, "that you find wrestling arousing." He freed one hand and ran it down my side, and my muscles bunched and quivered under his touch. Yes, yes, I thought, my brain fevered, touch me, keep touching me, touch me more. My heart was pounding against the floor.
"It's very animalistic," Fen commented as he nuzzled aside my hair and laved the back of my neck, right over where the buzz began. "Your sexuality is such a puzzle."
I didn't care if I was a ferret anymore. I didn't care if someone walked in on us. When Fen sucked so gently on that spot he unwittingly pushed me halfway to orgasm. In a hazy fashion, my brain asked me what exactly had titillated me so strongly. I could have blamed the hum that tingled and raced through my veins, no fault of my own. I was drunk with something else, though, something that made me less of a recipient and more the participant.
Fen rolled back on his haunches and then stood, and for a moment I was bereft of the precious skin contact I needed. I rolled over and wondered what he saw when he looked down at me. Six feet and three inches of quivering flesh, bunched abdominal muscles, parted lips, heaving chest, the strong outline of an erect phallus encased by cotton, a pained expression that begged for sexual contact, for the ultimate release?
Fen reached down and pulled me to my feet then into the bathroom. His sunken bath and shower unit was more like a pool in that the water level reached waist level when the bath was full, and there was a seat running the length of one wall. I practically stumbled after Fen as he pulled me down into it and turned all the water faucets on. A lusty haze was crowding my vision, my legs shook, I had to sit down. Fen opened a container of oil and poured it all out underneath the waterfall that cascaded onto the floor tiles.
Fen turned to me. "Come here," he said softly.
The water level was already at my ankles. Fen pushed me against the ledge of the bathroom floor, knelt in front of me. He nuzzled my cock for a moment through my underwear, then took the band between his teeth and peeled it all the way down my body. I stepped out of it and he threw the garment over in the direction of the jacuzzi, then he proceeded to lick and lip his way up the insides of my legs until he reached my hanging sack. My fingers were tangled in his hair as he fellated me, first gently, then at such a vigorous pace that I nearly collapsed. Fen's hands ran up and down my legs, dipped to brush between my buttocks, and kneaded the backs of my thighs. I didn't think it possible to be any more stimulated. He stopped right before I reached orgasm, and I cried out.
"Fen, please." I was so hard, my cock was purple and weeping. I couldn't stop my hips from thrusting upwards.
He threw my legs over his shoulders and stood, and I shuffled my elbows backwards until my upper body was propped on the bathroom floor. The water level had risen until it lapped at my backside, and when Fen pressed wet kisses to my cock head he slid a wet finger smoothly into me. His tongue lashed over me, and his eyes burned into mine.
My hips bucked and I gasped. The hum was a roar in my ears, and I could hear myself begging, pleading for release. I couldn't stay still, and Fen eventually laid his forearm over my stomach to keep me still. Another finger entered me and the digits were thrusts in and out of my anus. It should have hurt, I knew it should have, but the thrumming throughout my body was now centered in two places: wherever Fen's mouth was on my shaft, and around his fingers in my ass. My toes clenched, my feet flexed and I trembled.
"Oh, fuck, I'm going to come," I moaned.
Fen lifted his mouth off my cock, but added another finger to those already occupied in my ass and pumped them in me slowly. "Not yet," he breathed. "Don't come just yet."
"I won't be able to help it if you keep that up," I said breathlessly. I was desperate to come, I needed it so badly. Fen responded by pulling his fingers out, and I whimpered.
Fen pulled me back in the now-full tub and embraced me. He still didn't kiss me, but I was busy sucking on his neck, trying to mark my territory. I wanted as much of him in my mouth as possible, his flesh burned under my lips, he shook when I pulled at his taut nipples. I writhed against him, grinding my cock against his. Backing me against the wall with the waterfall, Fen hooked his hands under my thighs and nestled his cock between my buttocks. I wrapped my legs around him and clung, wanting to feel all that skin, to dig my fingers in and leave bruises. Fen was slowly moving his pelvis, and his cock would occasionally bump against my hole. Surrounded as we were by waist-deep water and oil, every inch of him was slick and smooth; it was driving me wild. I sorely missed his fingers inside me.
Fen bent his head to my nipples, sucking and biting them to hard points while his hands were busy massaging my buttocks. His fingers drifted over my anus, but never entered me. I needed to come.
"Fen, please," I begged again, thrusting my cock between our stomachs.
He pressed his forehead to mine, water cascading over our heads. "Tam, I—"
I ground myself against him, frustrated with his hesitation. "Just fuck me, you asshole," I growled.
Fen pulled his head back and looked at me. "Are you sure?" he asked.
I squirmed in frustration. "Yes I'm fucking sure!" I grunted. "Move, fucker!"
A positively wicked grin spread over Fen's features, and he lifted and spread my buttocks, staring into my eyes the whole time. The buzz flared and shot to my groin. I felt the head of his cock bump against me, then he shoved himself inside.
My eyes nearly popped from my skull. The pain was excruciating! "Fen," I panted, "oh gods, Fen it hurts." My inner muscles were spasming around the intruding member, trying to force it out. The thrumming in my body leapt and throbbed happily, and soon was filling my lungs with the breath of Fen's ecstasy.
Fen held still, running his hands over my torso and whispering kisses across my forehead, cheeks and nose. "Relax," he instructed. "Bear down on me."
I did as I was told, and Fen was suddenly all the way inside me. I leaned my head against the tile and grunted as he pistoned in and out of me. His strokes were long and hard, and he was careful to run over my prostate. Pleasure radiated from where his cock touched me, slowly overtaking then crushing the pain.
Fen's eyes were bright with lust, and the muscles of his torso bunched and corded with every thrust, making waves slap around us. I watched as his hand trailed up from my buttocks and wrapped around my shaft. My eyes snapped shut when he began to stoke me in time to his thrusts. My ears buzzed, my throat felt thick, my skin prickled with my lust.
Fen's voice dusted over my ears, inflaming my lust. "Your face, limned with bliss, is exquisite," he told me. "You're so tight, so new, so fresh. I could stay in you forever."
I responded by clinging to him more tightly. Sometime I had begun rolling my hips to meet him. I was babbling, egging Fen on, asking for faster, rougher, harder sex. Fen picked up his pace, wrapping his hands around my hips to pull me against him. My mouth fell open, air sailing in and out of my lungs, I licked the sweat from Fen's collar bone and savored his taste, my body sang to me, and I burst and came and came.
With my sperm erupting between us, Fen quickened his pace until I felt him swell inside me. His whole body tensed, and he pressed my almost painfully into the wall, his hand tightening on my shaft. "Oh, gods," he breathed, over and over. His pelvis jerked against mine, and the sensation forced another stream of come from my penis.
We stayed like that, glued together, pulsating, until Fen slipped out of me and let me slide down the wall. My legs wouldn't hold me, and I couldn't seem to form any coherent thoughts. Fen wrapped his arms around me and sank down on the seat. I couldn't open my eyes, and lay limp and half-floating in Fen's lap.
Fen's long fingers brushed my short hair from my forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked me softly.
I laughed weakly. "I'm exhausted."
I felt him lean down and kiss both my eyelids. "As am I." He paused. "What were you muttering about ferrets?"
"Oh, er, nothing," I mumbled. "Shut up and let me enjoy the afterglow in peace."
He did, and we stayed wrapped up in each other until there was a loud banging on the bedroom door.
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