Watching Him Back Epilogue Bits and Bobs

The last official part of Watching Him Back is live, so technically I have done what I set out to do: finish the damn thing. But of course, back when Aaron and Crispin were the main characters on my mind, I wondered how they could end up together if they went to different colleges. There wasn't enough to make a full chapter about them. Too much to explain: how Aaron's parents reacted to his coming out, how he and Crispin broke up amicably, the other relationships they tried, how they each realized that their first loves were their only blah blah blah.

So, to get it out of my brain I'm releasing as much as I have. It might be hard to read; it's a lot of dialogue without the polish of filling in who is speaking. Because the whole thing is so scattered I've thrown some emoji between sections. Let me know if you can fill in those blanks.

Here it is in all its tangled glory:

Crispin and Aaron broke up after the summer because they’re in school on the opposite ends of the country. It’s harder on Aaron because of his parents’ reaction to his coming out; he practically lived with Crispin’s family for the three months after school. They’re both dating other people—Crispin is with a fellow freshman who won’t top, Aaron with an upperclassman who won’t bottom. Aaron worries that he peaked in high school, not just in achievements but in relationships. He has a friend though, a girl, who he can talk with honestly. (He has male friends, but they don’t talk about relationship stuff.) She advises him to be more vulnerable, and to actually tell Crispin how he feels instead of trying to keep up his cool kid persona.

A Mini Revival

 I'm back again. All the stories I've been hoarding, editing, restarting…I want to be free of them. Every scenario, every bit of dialogue, every scrap of colorful language that I collect goes somewhere into the plots I've already started. Whether the idea fits or not, I feel like I can't waste time creating new characters; I owe it to myself to finish something that I've started. Sometimes this means I end up re-reading my own work for an hour, scanning it for where I can slot in that thought I had. Mostly I end up cringing at the words I typed years ago, asking myself if anyone is really gonna like this shit.

So. I released The Worst Days as a complete collection on Smashwords. The second chapter of Power Plays, which I retitled Stay Away from Her, the short piece "Olive Juice," the last official chapter of Watching Him Back all went on Literotica within the past week. The little feedback I've received has been mixed, which matches how I feel about this process. However, in the spirit of purging my brain of these stories, even a low rating means that someone took the time to read my bullshit. That ain't nothing.

What all have I been hoarding, you* ask?

The Worst Days eBook

 I think I first published The Worst Days on Literotica in 2008 or so. Then I disappeared and so did all my stories, and if not for a faithful reader it would have stayed gone. For the record, I used to do that too, back when wifi was scarce. Sitting in the student union in France, feeling guilty that the firewall didn't pick up on English language erotica, copying stories I wanted to read at home into a document. Then I'd delete them and empty the trash, just in case a friend needed to borrow my laptop and stumbled across something I wasn't ready to share.

In retrospect, I don't know if I love the story of Tam and Fen as much as some of the dumbasses I've been writing about in more recent years. They're a product of my youthful hubris—reading overwrought gay erotica by women and plot-less gay erotica by men, and thinking I can do way better than this. Fen was practically flawless, while Tam was too naïve for his age and profession. There's a lot that I would have cut out now (dogs? Really, man?), but I do recall the kind, thoughtful feedback from readers who liked my first and only attempt at queer science fiction. So for the ebook I kept those people in mind, focusing on minor edits and keeping the original flavor intact.

All seven chapters are downloadable through many of your favorite ebook platforms, but the direct link is here: https://books2read.com/u/38NpYO

And I made more terrible cover art. It might be my worst work yet.