We both realize what he just did at the same time. I think I frown, I don't know, but Will's eyes get huge. I never realized how black his eyes were until his face turned into a cartoon. Just two black circles on his face surrounded by shaggy black hair. It would have been funny at any other time. He looked like he was about to apologize, and then he ran, literally ran, to his car. He almost backed into our mailbox, he was in such a hurry to leave.
I closed the door. Probably I would have just stared at it for a million years and turned to stone wondering why Will just kissed me—I could feel it more now than I could when he actually did it—but I heard my sister's voice behind me.
Cassie was giving me the same look that she used to get when she saw me with girlfriends.
"Shut up," I said quickly.
She put her hands up in surrender, but she still commented, "Man, if he hadn't been the one to lean in first I would have thought you did that to him. He ran off like he was on fire."
A snort came from the study. Oh my God, my dad saw all of that, too? "It was an accident," I stressed. "Obviously." I rubbed my mouth, but I could still feel Will on it.
Cassie looked skeptical.
"Seriously," I said, "you can't tell anybody about that."
"Why not?" Cassie shot back in that tone she reserved for whenever she thought I was trying to boss her around. "If you're gay, you're just gay."
"I'm not gay, Cassie," I snapped. "Did you see Will's face? He didn't mean to do that at all." So why had he? What the hell would have been on his mind that he thought, Whoops, almost forgot the goodbye kiss. Better plant one.
"I'm with Declan on this one," Dad chimed in from the study. "It's not your job to out anybody. A lot of people could get hurt by a few careless words."
Cassie folded her arm and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't going to say anything, anyway," she muttered, and stomped upstairs.
"Declan, come here a minute," Dad said before I could escape.
Those were the exact words he had used when he and Mom sat me down to explain how babies were made. "What?" I said cautiously, getting nervous. I sat on the very edge of the chair across from him.
Dad looked at me over the top of his reading glasses. "You know you can tell me and your mother anything, right?" he began.
"Ugh, Dad, come on," I interrupted, but he held up his hand to cut me off.
"I know you know, but what I want you to understand is that we want to know. But I also want you to be careful, he says. It may be an accident on your end, but you don't know what has been going on in Will's head."
Oh my God, this was so completely, incredibly awkward. He should have been delivering this we-love-you-no-matter-what talk with Will. Probably Will didn't even know what was going on in Will's head, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here trying not to groan and roll my eyes from my skull.
"So yeah," Dad continued, "maybe it was an accident from him too, but that may not be the case."
"Please. You know he won't do it again."
"I wouldn't care either way," Dad said, "but if he has a crush on you, you need to be careful that he doesn't get hurt."
"What?" I protested. "If, I mean if Will actually likes me like that, which he doesn't, how could I be blamed if he got hurt because I don't like him back? Am I supposed to fake it until he moves on or something? Also, Will is not gay." Everyone needed to quit ignoring that fact. I knew who the gay kids were at school; there were three of them in my class alone, and there were only sixty-eight seniors this year.
Dad laced his fingers together on top of his notepad. "Remember how upset you were when Jessica Stewart kissed you at two different parties, and then you found out she had a crush on Josh the whole time even though she knew you liked her?"
"See?" I said, "I already do tell you everything."
Leaning over the table, Dad rapped me on the head with his knuckles. "Quit being a smartass. I'm just telling you to be sensitive, and don't mess with him. Gay or straight or bi or whatever, Will's probably a lot more confused than you are right now. Your main job is to be a good friend."
"Ugh, I get it. I know." Now I'll definitely feel bad if I don't talk to Will at all tomorrow. Maybe I can get away with being normal during morning meeting and the avoiding him for the rest of the day. I just need to figure out…like…He kissed me. What?