My current secretary is afraid of me.
I call him a secretary because I know it chafes and he’s too much of a chickenshit to correct his boss. His name is Lance Oliver Jordan—three first names. I call him “hey,” or “kid,” and take note when he complains to everyone that I don’t even know his name.
Lance Oliver Jordan graduated a year ago with a degree in Creative Writing. Lance Oliver Jordan is too pretty to be taken seriously, but takes himself too seriously to get over it. He calls me “sir” even though he can’t be more than five years my junior.
Lance Oliver Jordan wants me to fuck him, and he doesn’t even know it yet. Some might call me a cocky bastard for thinking so, but I can tell. Like the other day, when I ate in my office because I was busy. Jordan came in to give me a fax. I took it, but he didn’t leave.
“What is it?” I asked, noting how he wiped his hands on his trousers. The kid had sweaty palms from handing me a fax.
“Ah, erm,” he stuttered, “you, ah, well.”
“Spit it out.”